When life gives you lemons… You don’t make lemonade. You call the Morbies.
This tote features the crew hard at work inside their highly questionable “Experimental Citrus Engine,” turning innocent fruit into something a little more… chaotic.
Built for everyday use but designed to start conversations, this bag is equal parts practical and unhinged. Groceries, gym gear, DeathHydra snacks you don’t plan on sharing… it handles all of it.
Durable, lightweight, and ready for whatever strange errands life throws your way.
100% polyester with a strong, medium-weight feel
Double-stitched seams for extra durability
Cotton webbing straps for comfortable carry
Nonwoven laminate interior for structure and longevity
Available in multiple sizes to fit your daily chaos
High-quality dye sublimation print that won’t fade
Couldn't load pickup availability
Benefits
Instantly boosts your unholy charisma
Soft enough to haunt in, bold enough to hex in
Won’t crumble to dust after one wash (unless you do)
Pairs well with grave dirt, ghost stories, and judgmental skeletons
Approved by at least 3 out of 5 wandering spirits
How to Use
Pull over your mortal shell
Channel the fruit-fueled forces of the underworld
Strut like you’ve got unfinished business
Repeat until summoned elsewhere
Return Policy
We accept returns from the land of the living within 30 days — no questions asked (unless the item smells of brimstone or was clearly involved in a summoning ritual).
Just make sure it’s unworn, unwashed, and un-cursed.
You cover return shipping; we’ll handle the banishment paperwork.
