Dehydrated fruits to die for.

THE DEATHHYDRA VOW

We make snacks that feel like lore and taste like your next obsession — all with ingredients your ancestors would recognize. No fillers. No weirdness. Just bold, natural fruit that bites back (in a good way).

OUR HISTORY

Before DeathHydra, there was a tropical family tradition: fruits harvested by hand, sliced with love (and sometimes a machete), and preserved using nothing but sun and time. We come from not one, not two, but four generations of tropical wisdom — where ingredients were sacred, and flavor was earned, not engineered.

Our ancestors didn’t have preservatives, barcodes, or energy drinks. They had fruit, nature, and a stubborn will to survive. So that’s where we started—because some things don’t need reinventing, just reviving. Proven by generations who lived without shortcuts or fake sh*t. We didn’t mess with it—we revived the original formulas with a modern twist. That’s how DeathHydra was born.

Features
DeathHydra
Other Brands
Clean, pronounceable ingredients
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Preservatives & mystery flavors
Nutrient retention
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Nuked in the name of shelf life
No preservatives
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Spoiler alert: they hide them well
Shelf-stable without compromise
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Long-lasting... for all the wrong reasons
Bold, punchy flavor
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Bland or weirdly sweet
Chewy, addictive texture
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Freeze-dried styrofoam vibes
Zero added sugar
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Sugar-soaked to fake freshness
Actually plant-based
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"Natural" doesn’t mean what you think
Rebellious branding you’ll remember
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Generic & forgettable

HOW TO ENJOY:

  • PRE OR POST WORKOUT

    Reward your body with fruit that actually fuels you.

  • ON-THE-GO FUEL

    No fridge, no problem. Just throw it in your cursed tote.

  • FOR THE LIL' GOBLINS

    Sorry, kids! Way better than the candy they hide under their bed.

  • WHEN YOU’RE OVER IT ALL

    Eat a little. Eat the entire can. We’ll look away.

Honest snacks with unhinged humor: because life’s hard enough already.

OUR MISSION

To bring chaos and clarity to the snack aisle. We’re here to prove that health doesn’t have to be hollow and indulgence doesn’t have to mean garbage. DeathHydra is for the weird ones, the wellness skeptics, and the snack romantics who want to love what they eat and feel good after.

Summon Now

  • NATIONWIDE SHIPPING

    Cursed deliveries straight to your crypt — free U.S. shipping on orders over $50.

  • ETHICALlY HARVESTED

    Responsibly harvested, wickedly packed — fruit with morals, not preservatives.

  • FRESHLY DEAD

    Sealed tight to trap every last breath of flavor inside its doomed vessel.

  • SATISFACTION PACT

    The chosen few tasted it. If you’re not thrilled, summon us — we’ll make it right.

This is fruit reimagined. Dehydrated to death. Guided by human intent.

STILL WONDERING IF IT’S REAL?

Yes, we’re funny. Yes, the brand is dramatic. But the fruit is real. Grown in trusted regions. Processed in small batches. Packed with nutrients and attitude. We made this for ourselves first — and now we’re letting it loose.

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