Tropical Witches Pack Bewitches Snack Market
New bundle of dried fruit delights draws in covens, crypt moms, and casual hexers alike
The veil thinned this week as DeathHydra unveiled its Tropical Witches Pack , a hauntingly delicious bundle of dried pineapple, mango, and banana slices that’s casting a powerful spell on snackers and spellcasters alike.
Described as “dehydrated fruits to die for,” the mix blends intense flavor with arcane undertones. Not only does it taste divine, but it's also said to enhance broom-flying stamina, amplify moonlight absorption, and prevent mid-ritual hanger attacks.
"Finally, a snack I can keep in my cauldron bag without offending the spirits."
While intended for all beings of the underworld, the blend has gained popularity among witches in particular. Why? Turns out mangoes make excellent rune polish, bananas are ideal for compostable wands, and pineapple slices double as powerful protection circles—when placed precisely at solstice.
Summon Your Own Tropical Witches Pack
These dried delights are available year-round for those ready to snack and hex. No pentagram required.
🧙♀️ Summon Your Bundle Now🔥 Opinions from the Other Side
— @JustTrynaHauntInPeace
— @MarlaFromTheMire
— @SpiritedZack
🕯️ UNDERWORLD CLASSIFIEDS 🕯️
Witch Seeks RoommateSwampy lair, Sector 7. Must love frogs, tolerate ghosts, and not judge mid-ritual snacks. BYOB (broom). No cursed exes.
Rent: 1 soul shard + shared hexes.
Move in: Next blood moon.
Scream into mirror at 3:33 a.m. to apply.
Witch Council Debates if Raisins Should Count as Real Fruit
The eternal question haunts kitchens again as the Great Coven Council casts doubt on the fruit status of raisins. “They’re suspiciously dry,” said one elder. “Like my ex.”